How about them apples?

Really. Has it been this long? I promise that I have a good excuse. Well, it's a good excuse in my head. To keep you interested... or maybe I already lost you during my blog-leave, I will just say that the dream is underway.

Stay tuned.

As for the Top 10? I am almost out of ideas. Generally, I am a 'Liker" not to be confused with a "Licker". So in order to pound the nail in on this one..... Here are my remaining TOP 3.

Where are the BOTTOM 3? I am tryin' to keep things positive.



#3 My new personal favorite. The Sweet Tango Apple. Sold in limited quantities for an insane price. These beauties were gone within a day at our house. It's better than the Honeycrisp. Need I say more?




#2 In honor of my wickedly awesome former boss {who totally left me} and wears insanely high heels despite the warnings of her doctor... Are you Gellin? Dr. Scholls inserts. Yes, she loves them.


#1 My Canon. OH how I love thee.... yes, I know, I already listed that on the Top 10. I don't care. It's my list.

Chow for now.

#3 Best and Worst

Wow, my blog is now my soapbox. Who would have thunk that Qwest would have employees patrolling the Internet for comments? Not sure what I think about that... Maybe their energy would be better spent on training their customer support staff? Just a thought. I will say that after a week of being hung up on, waiting for the service repair people, getting multiple answers to our problems.... they did pull through and set-up our highly complicated PHONE and Internet connection. Plus, we got a month free of service for our week of trouble. Thanks, Qwest!

So at the risk of being "googled" here is #3 Best & Worst.

#3 Best - Pandora!

No, not the charm bracelet. The FREE Internet radio station. Check it out http://www.pandora.com/.
Love it. It is super easy to set-up (like less than 2 minutes). All you do is enter in a song or an artist and it starts playing songs you might like ... just like that! As songs play, you can either give it the Thumbs Up or Down. You can create multiple "radio stations". For example, I like country but sometimes I like Norah Jones type music. I have a radio station for both genres! Check it out. It's free. I love FREE.

#3 Worst - Do I dare?

Ok, this is a general one. Double Strollers. We have been through about 5 strollers and currently own two - a jogger and an "urban" stroller (that cost way too much money and is duct tapped together). I have yet to find a double stroller that works for walks and going out around town.

Since LP and LC are 3 now, I think we will just stick with what we got.

#4 Best & Worst

#4 Worst - Qwest Service
Qwest. Anything Qwest touches. Crap. Horrid service. I can say no more.

#4 Best - The Hip-T

Ok, so I have never actually tried this product. But I would really like to. I have this problem with shirts always being too short - thank god for the long shirt/tank top trend. It has been a life saver.

The Hip-T "covers your assets" and for someone who is always layering to make my shirts longer... this would be awesome because it doesn't add bulk. And please, I need help with the muffin top/tire/ front butt situation.

#5 Best & Worse

I lost my steam on this one.... and LPB over at Better Late Than Never has been reminding me that I need to finish what I started.

So here it goes.... #5 Best.

I am going to be honest here and share with you one of the best products ever made. And I am being serious, when I say that it is life changing. So why is it #5 and not #1? Well, for cripes sake, it is just toothpaste!

But I kid you not, my pearly whites (yellow, mother of pearl, remember that commericial?) HEART my toothpaste. Post pregnancy my routine dental appointment left me in tears. I am always a A student at the dentist, and she told my gums were in terrible shape. Ugh, it was a moment of shame. So my dentist told me to have my nasty, dry mouth give Biotene a try.

FYI: Did you know that dry mouth is a condition with a real name? Yup, its called Xerostomia. It can be caused by many things... including a freakin' thyroid problem.

And I did.
And it was wonderful.

Note: It doesn't leave your mouth feeling minty fresh. It's doesn't get all foamy like a crazed dog. But it works wonders if you have a dry mouth.

#5 Worst - Sport - Elec

Ok, you must go check this out..... Sport Elec is a belt that you wear that stimulates your abs. And guess what? You can get a 6 pack without lifting a finger.

For some reason, it reminds me of this wacky exercise bike that my parents had when I was growing up. It was like a normal exercise bike but when you turned it on the seat and the handle bars came up in a V- Shaped motion. So it was like a bucking bronco. I searched the internet high and low for a picture of this crazy contraption... no luck. Did anyone else have one of these? It was great - hours of laughs from all of my high school friends... in fact, everyone tried it and wore downhill ski helmets for saftey. =)

Why am I so happy?

1. Look at that camera

2. My thryoid sucks ass... but now know that I don't. I have an appointment with the Endo soon.

3. SHIT, I ran 2 miles. Yippee. I ran slow as mo' fo but I made it.

Did I ever mention that I, Mimi, ran cross country and track in High School? I used to run 5:30 minute miles and two miles in about 12 minutes. I am pretty sure my mile splits last night were about 10 minutes. That doesn't make me happy. But it does make me laugh. I digress.

4. I thought I might die last night after running 2 miles. I didn't.

5. I am not at work today.

I am happy. And drinking coffee.

Last week, I went to my annual physical. I asked for a thyroid test. Remember when I thought that I was a hypochondriac?

I was wrong- and I am not a hypochondriac. At least not in this case.


The nurse called me with my test results within two days. So, you know that something is wrong. Most of my tests came back normal with the exception of my thyroid antibody test. They are sending me to an endocronologist. So I surfed the web looking for information on what that means. Here is what I found...

If your doctor has told you that you have tested positive for "thyroid antibodies" but you have a normal TSH, what does that mean? Usually, it indicates that your thyroid is in the process of autoimmune failure. Not failed yet, and not failed enough to register in the standard TSH thyroid test, but in the process of failing.

Great. Swell. My thyroid is failing and I have an autoimmune disease. Happy freakin' birthday to me.

The good news is there are drugs to help. And heck, maybe, I feel a little vindicated. Like, I am not totally nuts for thinking that something was off.

But it does make me feel a little like this...

Birthday Recap

I have to admit, I have much to be thankful for in my life. Yes, just like everyone else, there are areas of my life that could use improvement. This birthday has been far more emotional for me than any other birthday... and no, it's not really to do with turning the big 3-0. Cause really, I just don't feel any older.

Smiles came through and suprised me with a wonderful night out with some friends. We went to a fondue place and it was fab! I loved it. I could go back.... And just do the dessert course. It was the BEST ever. Yummy. So not only did I have a great night out, but of course, I got the camera....

It took my mind off some other things that are going on in my life right now. So not only did I get a great night out, but I got everything that I wanted.

Mommy Redefined - In Full Swing

Ok, I am bored with my Top 10 Product count down. Any ideas?

Mommy Redefined is in full swing. Why? Because I got a massage today. I treated myself. And let me tell you. I am about as tight as a mo' fo.

Are mo' fos tight?

And then after that I drove out my friend's house with the kiddies to pick up their beloved Radio Flyer wagon. The wagon has been sitting in her garage for over a year while we try to sell our darn house. Sigh of relief. Those are the things that weigh heavily on me. Taking up her garage space.

Yup, that's sad. I need to drink more. She has plenty of garage space.

And after a night of relaxation, removing the weight from my shoulders. Literally and figuratively.

I leave you with this. Yes, another picture from my new camera.

But it screams summer. And summer is well, bliss.

Random Picture - FROM MY NEW CAMERA!

#6 Best & Worst

#6 Best: The Keurig Single Serve Coffee Maker.

I admit. Moment of Truth. It's not as great as my beloved latte from Starbucks. AND saying Goodbye has not been easy. In fact, I have frequented the establishment from time to time.

But I digress.

The Keurig is great because it brews one cup of coffee at a time and it is actually super good coffee. We used to have the Tassimo, and I would rank the Keurig higher in terms of taste (as would Smiles, hands down). Not only does the coffee taste better with the Keurig but it also lets you brew a smaller cup of coffee or select a larger size ... which actually fills a coffee mug. Nice! The Tassimo was always short of a cup.

The best part is that we don't waste a half a pot of coffee and there is little to no cleaning up. Double nice!

#6 Worst - The Can Cooler

Speaking of beverages.... The 80's called and they want there freakin' can "koozie" aka can cooler back. What the heck are these things and honestly do they keep your beverage any cooler? Its just a piece of foam to stick your beverage in. Not only does the can cooler serve no purpose - but they are almost always plastered with annoying phrases or company logos. No thanks. The day I own a koozie will be the day I sport a mullet. And that ain't going to happen. =)

Take It Off Tuesday

I am not seeing much progress on the weight loss front. Holding steady at -11 lbs.

There are many things that are motivating me to change my lifestyle and become more fit. There are even things motivating me beyond my rapidly approaching 30th birthday.

So what motivates me?

Well, first of all, there is no better feeling than being healthy, right? Who likes the nagging feeling of your pants being too tight? Let's not even talk about the awful feeling of my Front Butt giggling as I exercise. The memories of my younger years when I could run 8 miles and still feel okay the next day. Being fit gives you confidence and you just feel good.

We are finally digging out of our hole. Where the world passes you by because you are so busy taking care of your children's every basic (and beyond) ... The early years.

I was always described by others as an athlete. A serious athlete. Smiles was also always defined as a serious athlete. Know around town for his athletic accomplishments. I look back at some recent pictures taken while vactioning in Mexico for Smiles' sister's wedding... and gasp! Most of those pictures will never see the light of day.

So last night armed with my motivation and pictures of me in Mexico floating through my head, I ran. And I ran. At least for me, I ran.

Don't laugh.
I ran 1.5 miles.

So there you have it.
It's the new me. Or rather me, again. I am a runner.

#7 Best & Worst

#7 Best: Your local Farmer's Market

It's not really a thing but an event rather. This weekend, I met up with one of my dear college friends downtown for the Farmer's Market. It has been years since I last visited a Farmer's Market, and I will be going back more often. Not only did I leave loaded down with fresh veggies for really low prices ... BUT I bought myself flowers. $5 for an enormous bouquet of super bright flowers. How could I pass that up? Besides LP and LC went nuts when I got home and helped put them in the vase. They were thrilled and so was I.

#7 Worst: The Wipes Warmer

It's a warmer for your precious baby's bum wipes. Good idea, right? Those wipes are cold and make for unhappy babies. I thought it was a great concept and LP & LC seemed to like it. Guess what? I followed the damn directions and they broke out into major diaper rash. MAJOR - as in massive yeast infections. So after appropriately medicating (doctor's orders) my children's private areas with Monistat. I went on-line and read the horrific reviews of other mothers who had the same experience.

I don't care how careful you are in changing the pad in the warmer... buyer beware. It was the worst freaking two weeks EVER. Well okay, RSV was worse. But it was awful - thank god they won't remember it.

#8 Best & Worst

#8 Best & Worst: The GoGirl

This product takes the #8 spot for the Best & Worst. It is just plain weird. But for some odd reason, I find it super interesting. So it wins both Best and Worst (or rather most interestingly weird). I first saw this in the back of a magazine but had forgotten all about it until I saw it on MckMama's Blog when she had a product giveaway....

So what is this exactly? Its a FUD!

The GoGirl is "is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic."

I hate germs which is one reason why I find this product so interesting and potentially helpful. But what do you do with the thing after you have peed through it? Do you go to the bathroom sink and wash it out?

Still need to think through the logistics on this one.

#9: Best and Worst Products

#9 - Best Product - My beloved camera... The Canon. I am happy to report that today I purchased a slightly used Canon 40D. I took the plunge. I can't wait for it to arrive. Since budgets are tight, I went with a slightly used model and the 40d vs. the 50d. Start small. Happy Birthday me.


#9 - Worst Product - Honestly, I don't need to say much more than this video. The SNUGGIE.

Someone over at Target picked up this freakin' product and they have it on an end cap. I can tell that they are not going off the shelf fast. Its a freakin' blanket with sleeves and anyone who would wear this thing would look like a tool.

Mimi's Things

Every day for the next 10 days, I, Mimi, will sprinkle little bits of wisdom upon my cast (read: small following) of readers. Not only will I share with you my most favorite things but also the things that really make me question - who the hell is in product development for these companies AND who the hell buys this crap.

# 10 Most Favorite Thing -St. Ives Apricot Scrub. I am liking the Renew and Firm Scrub.

Why? It's simple.

1. It's budget friendly..... Less than $4.

2. It makes my face feel super soft.

3. For some reason, I heart the smell. I have thought of eating it but it's probably one of those things that smells better than it tastes - kind of like regular drip coffee.

#10 Most Questionable Product - The Flat D

What is this, you ask? Here is the product description from their website.

" Bodily odors such as feminine odors and flatulence are a delicate issue that you probably don’t discuss or address. However, the word is spreading “Testimonials” — solutions to feminine odors and the odors from passing gas do exist! Flat-D specializes in Flatulence Deodorizer™ products, including choices designed to neutralize feminine odors. "

Photo from the Flat D Website.

Um, so in a nutshell its a "pad" that neutralizes your farts (and other unmentionable odors). Great, I wonder what happens to the SOUND of your farts. I mean, seriously.... You have super bad gas so you slap on the Flat-D (don't worry ladies they have a thong version) and head out to the market. As you walk, your ass sounds like a machine gun but DON'T worry at least no one can smell it.

Talk about not getting to the root of the problem. Maybe it works for some people. God bless the people at Flat-D and their work to help neutralize the unpleasant odors of others.

Take it off Tuesday

I can't believe it's Tuesday already. I lost an entire pound this week. Wow . So unless I do colonics (sp?) or cut off a limb - I am not going to hit my target by my birthday. I am okay with that. I am not about to have a tube shoved up my butt and crap extracted to hit an aribitrary date of my birthday. Speaking of which, I wonder what they do with the waste. I mean ... do they throw poop bags in the garbage? How would like that job?

I often think about crap (pun intended) like that.... On my way home from work, I thought about the stupidest products ever evented. More on that later.

I know what you are thinking...

No, I am not entirely random in my thought process. One of my top products is fart related.

Vacation & Random Thoughts...

There is nothing better than a vacation.... I am winding down from a 4.5 day weekend and I have discovered that I need to do this more often. We spent the weekend up at the lake. Um, hello? What's going on with this global cooling thing - it was under 60 degrees in July. Oh well, that didn't stop us. It was way to cold to swim in the lake so Smiles and I took the kiddos to an indoor water park about 20 minutes from the cabin.

I was a little embarrassed in my swimsuit but as my dear sister-in-law reminds me .... LOOK AROUND! "There is always someone who looks worse than you". So sad, yet so true. I find comfort in the obesity of others. OK, not really but yes, it does make me feel a little bit better. Call me whatcha want.

We went out to eat, LC and LP fished off the dock, they took turns riding in mommy's kayak, we went for walks and lounged in the fresh air.

Now that I am back in town my organizational crusade continues. I am itching to have a garage sale (if only it was a moving sale) and get some of the excess crap out of the house. Unfortunatley the house being on the market is throwing a wrinkle in my garage sale plans.

The stuff keeps piling up.

Take It Off (or stay the same) Tuesday

Ok, late in posting and seriously slacking on posts in general. What's my problem... more on that later. Well, I had a goose egg this week. I stayed the same. 11lbs to go and the birthday is fast approaching. I think it is my stress eating. So what am I stressed about?



Lots of things but primarily our house. I know, I know. Everyone is feeling the squeeze in some way with this economy. It's depressing that our house is listed for less than what we bought it for and we have dumped tons of money into it. But it's more than that.



Now is the time for us to make a move before the kids start school (two years and counting). I have this deep "need" to settle into a community. I don't like the 'burb that we live in. People just go to their house and go to work. There is no sense of community. I grew up in a burb and there were not many kids around to play with. Smiles grew up in a smaller town and he is still great friends with the "gang" that roamed the streets. He has so many great memories of growing up and walking to the bakery to buy a donut, causing trouble around town, tenting in the yard, swimming at the local pool or college, etc etc. I am jealous.



And I want my kids to experience those things. I feel as though we are ...... totally screwed. We can't afford to drop our price more and the market just continues to drop. Someone will buy our house. Please.



At the same time, its hard to complain. We make our payments, we have jobs, we have our family. It could be a lot worse. BUT I WANT TO MOVE. End pouting.

Take it Off Tuesday - Hello?

It's hard to believe that this week went by so fast. I clearly took a break from posting. But progress has been made on the Take it Off Challenge. I have 11 lbs to go. It will be a serious challenge to take off the remaining 11lbs by my birthday - which is less than 1 month away. But still, progress is good. And what are you punks doing? I had one joiner - and she has not reported back. Yup, that's right neighbor.

On to other accomplishments, the 4th of July was not only fun and exciting but productive. We did really festive things like clean out the cars. There was an entire meal stuck under the car seats. Anyone hungry?

And I am both happy and embarrassed to report that I have finally completed LC and LPs baby books. That's right, they are three years old and I just finished the first year. But I am going to be honest with myself and give some credit... You should see my baby book! I have a few scribbles, a hospital bracelet, one or two pictures (not her strong suit) and some greeting cards shoved in a book. Thanks, Mom. I guess she was tired by the time #4 rolled in.

Take It Off Tuesday!

Well, it's more like "Put it on Tuesday". Too much fun at the birthday parties of LP and LC this past weekend. I added a 1lb. Yikes. I have a long ways to go to hit 20 x 30.

And only one person joined the challenge. Hmmmm. You can still sign up! But your points are dwindling. Sign up here.

The first trip to the dentist...

Eventhough Smiles is home for the summer, there was no way that I was going to miss out on LC and LP's first trip to the dentist. We made the trip to see their Auntie at the dental office that she works at... Its about a 40 minute drive. We all go to that office now, and it's great.

LP went first with daddy. She was very shy and would not let the dentist count her teeth. She briefly flashed her front teeth at him and then turned away. What a sweetie. LP received several prizes and two new toothbrushes. She was thrilled! And excited to go back next time.

LC went next with me. He sat in my lap on the chair. At first he was very shy, but after a minute or two... he opened his mouth really wide. He let the dentist count is teeth and look at them with his little mirror. In fact the dentist had to tell him, "You can close your mouth now, little guy"! It was cute. He took 5 prizes from the basket. The bar has been set. It's a good thing that their Auntie works there... or they may not get as many prizes.

The dentist gave me the talk about cutting down on the juice. Their teeth look good, but he knows that parents struggle with it. And we do, LC loves juice. He begs for juice or rather screams for it.

So it was a sign when I logged into Mommy Momo's blog to find this giveaway.
MOMMY-MOMO: Wateroos Review and GIVEAWAY!!!

Wateroos are fruit-flavored waters without sugar or artificial ingredient - That's tough to find! It's either sugar or artificial sweetners... ack.

I guess they carry them at Rainbow. I will have to give it a try. Anything is worth a try, eh?

Take it off Tuesday – Who will join the good fight?

Down 1 lb.

Since posting about my weight loss "strategy", I have had a few folks report back to me about their experience with the WW thing. I read somewhere that someone who attends their meetings is 3x more successful in losing weight (or something like that). So what makes those who attend meetings more successful?

Is it the information? – hmmm, I have already done the program and can count my points. BTW, my friend and co-worker who "drives me crazy" over at Better Late than Never supplied me with these great resources. Thanks! Check them out if you are into the rogue WW thing.

WW Points calculator
Dottie's Weight Loss Zone - Going out to eat? She has tons a places listed with point values and loads of other great resources like recipe ideas!

Is it the constant reminder? And the accountability of having to weigh in every week… and that someone else is writing down the number? Possibly – but I have my blog and I can see that I am not the only reading it (there may be one or two others).

Is it the camaraderie of the group? It certainly could be. There is nothing like having the support of others to light a fire under your ass. Some see it as competition. Others see it as support. I guess it depends on who you are.

So how do I get all that … and not pay the price? Light bulb, clouds part, cue music.

Join me in Take It off Tuesday! I can’t do this alone.

Every Tuesday - weigh yourself, keep the number to yourself (or share if you care), and report back to the group your loss for the week (or gain - shit happens) and your overall loss (or gain). Who will join in the good fight? Can you commit to a 10 week challenge? You don’t have to do the WW thing. It’s a choose your own adventure deal (oh, I hearted those books!).

There will be a prize in the end – Um, not sure what yet and I can only ship within the US/Canada. Beware; this is my first contest – so give me some slack, jack.

Here is the scoring strategy:

One point for becoming my follower (leave a comment or leave a comment if you already are (um, that's only two people)).

Two points for joining the fight (leave another comment).

Two points for blogging about my contest (post a link in another comment).

One point for each week you report back with your weekly loss (or gain!) and overall loss (or gain!) (by leaving a comment). That’s a total of 10 comments or potential points.

5 points for the biggest overall loser, 3 points for the second biggest loser and 1 point for the third biggest loser. Don’t lie. We all hate liars. If you lie, everyone will hate you (okay, hate is a strong word). I un-heart liars. Be real.

OK, go weigh in. Let the games begin.

I heart Giveaways... but I never win.

Bobbi at N Her Shoes has a giveaway for Super Green Food from Amazing Grass - That's wheat grass people! Come on.

Check it out!

N Her Shoes: New Job, New Giveaway!

I shall have you some day....

Yes, some day you will be mine.

You know that "hobby" I started a few weeks back. Well, lets be honest. The arts and crafts crap is great. But I suck at that stuff. I won't bore you with the details.

I am counting the days until this fine piece of machinery will be mine. And my wallet will be a lot lighter. Still I want it.

Do I sound slightly deranged?

Take It Off Tuesday.. I mean Friday

Wow, the week flew by. It was a super busy and somewhat stressful week. Boy, I am glad that it is over. I am relaxing with an adult beverage and counting the minutes until LC and LP fall asleep. As I am quickly headed by bed myself.

This week, great progress has been made. So what is the secret to my success?

Smiles joined the fight. That's right. We are both trying to see a glimpse of our old selves.... let's just say that Smiles has no where near the fight ahead of him that I do. But I am enjoying the support of my best friend.

As of today, I have dropped 6 lbs. Yipee, only 14 more to go by the big 3-0.

My sit-up challenge is going well. I have put the push-up challenge on-hold. Why? I can't put any weight on my hand since the infamous crash.

This week has been a source of frustration for me on the home front. LC and LP are acting up like you would not believe. This is by far the toughest stage to date. My mom and I took them to the mall tonight and it was pure chaos. I got my work-out in and was drenched in sweat by the time we reached the car. I need Nanny 911. I have lost control.

Just when I think it can't get any worse and I raise my voice... I hear a little voice saying, "sorry, mommy. i give you kiss". Like I have said before it's those brief moments of complete sweetness and those little faces of gold... that make the tough moments melt away. I am lucky to be a mom. Shit, now I am freakin' crying.

Time for bed.

The plight of a working mom

Last night when I got home from work, LC and LP gave me huge hugs. And then LC said to me.

"Mommy, you work too much".

And my heart broke.

As a mother, I am always torn between the demands of motherhood and having a career. Don't get me wrong. If push came to shove, motherhood would win. But there is an internal daily struggle - It's great for them to go to daycare, learn new things, play with other children and experience a little "classroom". But it hurts when they cry as I leave them, wake them up from bed to get them ready in the wee hours of the morning and when they say, "don't go, mommy".

There are so many pros and cons to each side. I know that I would lose my mind being at home all day, every day. Ideally, I would work part-time or have a very flexible schedule (i.e. my own business) - but those gigs are hard to come by and owning a small business is a lot of work.

Until I figure out a solution, I am trapped in a cube farm working long hours and struggling to find balance.

Crash

I have a new name. Its crash and that is what I did this weekend. I fell on my ass several times. I talked my sister-in-law into doing a inline skating half marathon. We showed up at the place, and these people were seriously intense. They were sporting spandex and inline skates that looked nothing like my inline skates. So we started at the back of the pack, and we finished at the back of the pack.

Around ¾ of the way through the course, we had to round a corner and go on a busy and rough road. As I turned, I hit some rough gravel. I ate shit – BIG TIME. Pieces of my pants were shredded and stuck to my skin. My elbow is a big bruise, and my hand hurts. It is possible that I broke a bone in my hand.

But that’s not all. So I got up and finished the race – slow as can be. As we approached the finish, my sister-in-law reminded me about the stupid rubber mats that you have to cross (they cover up the timing equipment). People cheered us with sympathy claps and they watched us cross the finish.

Good thing, she reminded me about the mats – because I ate shit again! And to add insult to injury, the timing equipment beeps as you cross it. And I landed right on the spot…. And it just kept beeping. So I gracefully rolled my big ass out of the way, beep, beep, beep, and beep. Yup, what a freaking nightmare.

Check it off the list.

You fall, you get up. You stuff your face, you stop.

I pigged out today. I mean seriously pigged out. It was a day of weakness. And it was not healthy food. Let's just say that if I were good and had counted the points like I said that I was going to.. I would have doubled my maximum allowed points. The nice thing about a diet (unlike other things in life) is that you can start over the next day.

After all of this gluttony, I had a skinny person tell me that they ate two pancakes. Oh my, they were stuffed. Two pancakes? Isn't that normal? Go eat a cheeseburger please. How do I change my mind set to think that two pancakes is a lot - they better have been big freakin' pancakes.

I was thinking about pitching an idea to the Biggest Loser folks. Can you please accept applications from people who are just plain overweight? I want to go on that show... and win the money. I may have to cut off a few limbs to win. Bad idea.

Life in the Fast Lane

My job is totally stressing me out right now. On top of the stress of work, we have had a flurry of activity on our house. Last night we had 3 showings and tonight we already have 2 scheduled. Being out of the house for an extended period of time takes it's toll on me, smiles and my little stinkers. I am plain tired.

About a week ago, I started this quest to eat super healthy food. And much to my dismay, I have been gaining weight. I mean seriously, WTF? It must be that damn thyroid disorder that I invented.

In my previous life (re: right before the wedding), I joined Weight Watchers. It worked ok for me but I always ended up eating crappy frozen food and other gross stuff because it was easy and the box told me how many points it was. I, of course, got sick and tired of frozen meals with 2,000 ml of sodium. Kind of like when I got sick and tired of drinking Slim Fast shakes.

So knowing this and that I couldn't stick with these plans, I thought that I would just load up on the fresh fruit, veggies, protein, etc. Well, clearly it is not working for me. And I don't want to invest MORE money into another plan.

So I am dusting off the old WW information with a new plan of attack. I am going to eat REAL food and try the old tracking of the points. But I am not going to join - Cause that would go against my plan of saving money.

Anyone on WW? Anyone need some support? I could use some help staying on track without paying for WW meetings.

One more thing - Hey Caribou, I drove past you twice yesterday and once today, and I didn't stop! So Shut the Front Door. In your face! Kiss mine. =) I can't help myself.

Take It Off Tuesday - Reality Check.

Another week has come and gone. And due to some factors outside of my control, I have determined this week to be my free pass.

A few days ago, I had a moment. One of those moments that hits you like a train.

And again last night that moment repeated itself. It was the wake-up call. There have been nudges, thoughts and little reminders for years but this was a wake-up call - Alarms blaring. I am an athlete trapped in an unhealthy body. I feel like Tyra Banks when she dressed up in the fat suit on her show (gasp, I watch that dumb show ... only occasionally).

For fear of judgement, I won't divulge my moment. And I am NOT looking for condolences or excuses.

Have you seen the movie, He Is Just Not That Into You? Well, the movie is ok. Kind of long and drawn out. The basic idea is that we (women) are programed from an early age to think that if a boy hits/teases/pulls your hair he likes you. This mentality carries on into adult life as we keep around guys that really aren't that into us.... and our friends keep telling us positive stories about other relationships and help us make excuses. All to avoid feeling hurt.

Women like to sugar coat reality ~ especially to our friends. We don't like to hurt people's feelings (at least not to their face).

If a guy said to his guy friend, "Dude, I am getting fat". The friend would reply, "yeah, you are ya fat ass".

If a gal said to her girl friend, "I am so fat". The friend would reply, "Oh, no you are not. You are so pretty. You are so blah blah blah".

Just like in the movie, we (women) make excuses, reason bad things into good things, and shield our friends from heart break... all the while, we aren't doing them any favors.

So I am going to keep my moment to myself. Knowing that I truly am unhealthy and unhappy with it.

I think that I am suffering from a bad case of PMS.

Saying Goodbye

Dear Over Priced Latte,

Tomorrow I will drive by you on my way to work and look the other way. I have loved you for many years. I have poured my wallet out to you. I have visited you nearly everyday. You have been there for me through many o' sleepless nights with LP and LC. You have been the highlight of my day.

But I can't do it anymore. It's not you. It's me. I have found someone else. Someone cheaper. Someone in my own home. His name is home brew.

So goodbye Caribou, Starbucks, over-priced Latte. I have tried to wean myself slowly away from you and I can't. I have to say good-bye cold turkey.

It's over. Please please don't contact me anymore..

Your faithful revenue generator,

Mimi

P.S. That stupid $1 off coupon you gave me today won't work. I ain't coming back.

The Challenge (s)

** Update: My links are showing up in the same color for some reason. I have changed them to show up in red. To read more about the challenge click on the red links. And a big shout out to Mommy Mo-Mo. My very first follower.***

Anyone care to join me?

I am doing the 100 push-up and the 200 sit-up challenge!

To start, you do the initial test and then follow the instructions. Let' s just say that I have a loooooonnggggg ways to go to hit the 100 push-up mark.

If it makes you feel any better, here are my results:

Push-ups: 7 (sad)
Sit-ups: 44

Can you spell Hypochondria?

According to the source of all truth (Wikipedia), Hypochondriasis (or Hypochondria)

is often characterized by fears that minor bodily symptoms may indicate a serious illness, constant self-examination and self-diagnosis, and a preoccupation with one's body.

I am fully convinced that I have a thyroid problem. It is the cause of my weight issues, fatigue, moodiness, tiredness, joint pain, tenderness, and a whole myriad of other issues. I am going to request some test at my annual visit to the doctor. I mean seriously, I am not gaining weight because of that 2lb rice crispy treat that I purchased at the company cafeteria. It must be a thyroid issue.

At least this way, the clinic staff will have something to talk about…. I can hear it now, “Ugh, here she comes again. I wonder what chronic condition she has now”.

Next, I should have a mental health evaluation. 1. Hypochondriac – Check. 2. Paranoid – Check.

On a happier and lighter note, I have made yet another purchase through Etsy.

I heart Etsy. Never looked at Etsy? There is a ton of stuff to look at! Etsy is a place to buy and sell all things handmade.

One of my personal favorites, I learned about through MckMama. It’s called Briar. Claire. I just bought some clippies for LP, and this adorable hat. I can’t wait!!

down but NOT out

I am not sure what is going on. Every and all attempts that I have made to exerice have resulted in an injury. Last night on my walk/run, my foot pain came back with gusto. I attempted to just walk tonight ... and seriously there must be a large rock in my shoe. Back to the podiatrist.

Am I too heavy to run? Am I just really out of shape? Or just bad luck?

But, I am not going to give up on this. I can't. I can't continue to feel like this. It makes me unhappy. I signed up for a pilates workshop to learn the basics. Ha, this should be interesting. I can hardly touch my toes. I start next week.

Twin Tantrums & Games

I love LC and LP with all my heart. As we went for a walk last night, Smiles and I talked about the future while ignoring the whining come from the stroller. We walked past the park (big mistake as the whining increased) and noticed parents sitting on lawn chairs. They were either watching the game or chatting with other parents. There were even a few parents reading a book while half watching the soccer game. Oh what a dream! What a dream!

Someone lied to me when they said that the two’s were terrible. Heck, what about the 3s? This stage can be wonderful. They are still so cute and they are learning new things everyday. The best part is that they still want to hug and kiss and cuddle. I know my days are numbered in that department.

But there are those moments were I think that I might just lose my mind. Like these moments….

• LC has discovered the toilet plunger (gross). Within a span of 1 minute, LC grabbed the garbage from the master bathroom, took it to the other bathroom, dumped the contents into the toilet, flushed the toilet, took the plunger out from under the cabinet and started to plunge the toilet.
• LC and LP ran into the master bathroom (yes, this appears to be the cool place to go right now) and started pulling on the shower door. The shower door came off the hinge and made a hole in the wall. Fast forward one week, Mommy attempts to take a peaceful shower. I step out of the shower to grab my towel. Shower door falls off and hits me in the head and makes a huge hole in the drywall. Phone rings. Showing in 5 hours. No time to patch the wall and re-paint. My head hurt all day. Another potential concussion. Is four too many?
• LC learns to pee outside in an emergency potty situation. LC continues to try to pee outside any chance he can get. Especially when others (little neighbor girls) are around to watch and praise his new found talent. LP attempts to pee outside while standing up. More laundry.
• LC and LP are now fascinated with sticking any and all objects in electrical outlets. Great.
• LC is obsessed with household cleaner. 10 minute tantrum occurred as a result of “mean mom” not allowing LC to play with toxic cleaners. Note to self: Maybe I should try those natural cleaning solutions.
• Newest game – Climb up on the fireplace, jump to the couch, walk across the top of the couch like a cat, jump down on the coffee table, play with the lamp and telephone, jump up to the next couch and start over.
• Smiles videotaped LC and LP last night. LP spent the time jumping around (dancing), smiling at the camera and sticking her hands down the back of her pants (cute). LC spent the time yelling, “wrestling”, singing songs buck naked, and turning so his bum faced the camera, grabbing his butt and saying “poop-y butt”. Charming, huh?
  

The list goes on. As trying as these times are… I just love them to pieces. One of the greatest challenges as a parent is to discipline without ever showing them that you are laughing.

Take It Off Tuesday - Week 2

Ugh. Shucks. Yup, the delay in my post is due to that fact that I must report a big fat Goose Egg. That's right. 0 lbs lost this week.

But I am not going to think twice about it. Because let's face it. It's my fault and I didn't make the best choices last week.

I have rallied my troops (um, me) to bring my game to the next level. In fact, I have already started to up my exercise. Did I mention that I signed up for a Half Marathon in June? Ok, its rollerblading ... but still that's 13+ miles.

Not only did I already start to up my exercise. But I have also spent more time on ME this past week. AND due to a major computer malfunction and a brand new computer some organization tasks were forced. I archived photos onto CDs. Techincally, Kodak Gallery archived my photos and I paid way too much for it but that was my only option after the computer malfunction. But regardless (or as some annoying people say irregardless) progress has been made!

Yes, it is really me writing this post not my evil - overly positive twin sister.

I heart Redbox

I admit that my first reaction to Redbox was a bit snobby. I instantly dismissed Redbox because the first that I heard about it was in association with McDonald’s. That’s plain dumb. I say that I hate McDonald’s and really I do. But LC and LP have eaten a Happy Meal or two and I sometimes enjoy their french fries. And who could pass up their $1 sundae. I know the organic mothers' of the earth should come after me.

It’s like the super religious folk sneaking off to the strip club. It happens. We sometimes say one thing and do another. Shall we all just free ourselves of our better than thou attitudes now? Me included.

Ok, I digress. Back to why I heart Redbox. I don’t have enough time to watch a ton of movies so Netflix is not a good option for me. Plus LC and LP watch the same movies over and over again (remember the portable DVD player). They even have Redbox at the grocery store…. both the normal one and the spendy one.

It’s really simple. Its a little touch screen kiosk and you pick your movie, enter your email, slide your card and it spits out a movie. It even sends you email receipts. Just like that you have a movie. And the best part is that each movie rental is $1. I used to rent movies from our local cable provider. But they charge $4.99 per movie. What a rip off!
And movie stores, do they still have those? I’m sure it’s more than $1 per movie.

I heart Redbox.

On the fence about Twitter

Tonight we had yet another showing on our house. I should be thrilled but I am not. I am getting ready to start charging admission. Make an offer or I will send you a bill in the mail for my time. Please I have goals to accomplish and these showings are crimping my style.

As I was driving home with LC and LP from my mothers house, I thought a lot about Twitter. To Twitter or not to Twitter - That is the question. I am not opposed to the idea of Twittering. In fact, I often enjoy reading tweets as they appear on some of my favorite blogs. But I am going to be honest, I have nothing to tweet about. So while my precious children watched a movie on their portable DVD player (gasp!), I played out in my mind what I might Tweet about...

Tweet: I went to the bathroom.
Tweet: People at work drive me crazy.
Tweet: I am at a meeting.
Tweet: I am at another meeting to talk about the last meeting.
Tweet: I am at a meeting to talk about the next meeting.
Tweet: I am at the next meeting.
Tweet: I have to go bathroom again. I am drinking a lot of water.
Tweet: I am on my way home.
Tweet: LC and LP wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom when I got in the door.
Tweet: Where has all of my privacy gone?
Tweet: LC and LP are both going to the bathroom.
Tweet, Tweet: I am now cleaning two butts (their butts please, not my buttS).

I am guessing that there just wouldn't be any interest in a play by play of my daily activities.

16 pairs of pants

I realized it was kind of boring to list out a long list of my goals for the week and then report back on Tuesday. So this week, I thought that I would write about one of my goals each day as I achieved success and Tuesdays would be reserved for my goal of losing 20lbs by age 30.

So last night after LP and LC went to bed, I thought that I would clean out my closet (operation simplify, organize). I quickly changed my mind. This is slightly embarrassing. Remember how I told you about my maximum size?

I counted the number of pants that I have that don’t fit. 16 pairs of pants in total…. And most of those are in my maximum size. I have a handful of pants that fit and I wear them every day.

Don’t laugh. Maybe you can relate.

Or maybe you are one of those annoying skinny people (it’s jealously not hatred). And it’s not that they are super small on me… just a little too tight for my liking especially when dealing with my Front Butt.

So I stopped with the closet project and decided to put that on-hold until I achieve 20 X 30.

Instead I re-opened the package that came in the mail and started my new “hobby”. I attempted to take a picture of it, but it was a challenge to get the right lighting. Maybe tonight.

So the next time, I want to snack on something naughty… I will remember the 16 pairs of pants that I would really like to wear. Nothing could taste so good that it would be worth squeezing into the same damn pants everyday.

Take It Off Tuesday!

Wow, what a week. The long holiday weekend did not do much for my weight loss... but I did lose 3.5lbs. Not bad. As for my other weekly goals, I would say overall mission accomplished.

1. Eat Healthy. Exercise. Reduce the Front Butt.
Week #1 Goals:

Drink Water = Done!
Exercise 4 time = Done! 1 rollerblade, 3 walk/runs.
Eat better = Define better? It was better but not great.

2. Simplify. Organize.

Organize photos = Done! But I didn't do well on getting photos saved digitally. Anyone have good ideas? (hint: fishing for my first commenter).

3. Financial Make-Over.

Eating out less = Success!

4. Reclaim the Flame.

Picked-up book. Happy Hubby.

5. Find outlets.

Package arrived. Opened it. It sat waiting for time.

Note to self: You gave too many goals. Yikes.

Memorial Weekend Recap

Smiles and I waited patiently in line for the car wash today behind a WWII vet. He took his time carefully cleaning his Buick. It looked like he was getting ready for a Memorial Day event all decked out in his Army cap.

Tom Brokaw coined the term, "The Greatest Generation" in his book to describe those who lived through the Great Depression, World War II and then went on to rebuild our country. Some commentators believe that Generation Y aka the Millennials share some of those same characteristics.... Described as civic-minded, high achievers and team oriented. According to the "experts", Smiles and I are on the front-end of this generation..... we sure have a lot to live up to.

So.... Enough of the history lesson. Memorial Day is a great reminder to me that I owe my freedom, life and everything else to many generations of Great Americans.

It also serves as a reminder to us all that greatness is within all of our reach. And greatness is defined in so many ways.

On a personal note, this was a life changing weekend for my family. My wonderful and loving niece became very very ill and was transported to the local Children's Hospital. She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Her life and our family's lives will be forever changed. Please keep her and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

The Motherhood Judges

Yesterday, I read a post over at Notes from the Trenches about how mothers are always judging other mothers. And it really got me thinking because...

Well, I never thought that I would be "one of those parents" that purchased a portable DVD player for the car.



But I did.

And I don't care.
And I love it.

Pure Evil.

All of the perfect mothers out there can snub their noses at me. You see this little portable DVD player means everything to me.

Don't worry, I am not showing them violent movies.

It saves our trips up to the lake. Smiles and I can have a conversation. A real conversation and .... I don't need to justify it.

Pure Bliss.

$450 = Gluttony

As I mentioned earlier, Smiles and I sat down to look at our spending for the past three months.
We were both shocked and a bit disgusted that we had spent on average $450 eating out.

Granted my expensive coffee addiction played into that... but I did not drink $450 worth of lattes. That is a freakin' lot of money and calories.

My grandma would be so disappointed in me. She grew up during the Great Depression.
She was thrify, resourceful and definetly not wasteful.

Let's be honest. This economy sucks. People are losing their jobs in record numbers. My retirement savings has dwindled to a mere fraction of what it once was, our house is priced low and is sitting on the market... and we spent $450 eating out!

I may sound like a negative nilly. I'm not trying to be. My redefining adventure is turning out to be an eye-opening experience. It's like my coffee addiction. First, you have to admit that there is a problem.

Good-bye Fast Food. Good-bye Chilis, Applebees, Chiptole, Pot Belly, (sniffle, sniffle).

Hello Brown Bag. And occasionally Starbucks. ;)

First step: Admit you have a problem.

Me: “Hi, my name is Redefined Mommy and I am addicted to Caribou/Starbucks”.

You: “Hi, Redefined Mommy”.

It all started in college. I was studying for a tough final with a few friends, and a one suggested that I try a latte (since they don’t taste that much like coffee). It was late and I was tired. I had a moment of weakness. I caved to stay awake. And thus the addiction started.

If we added it up, I wonder how much money I have spent since that fateful moment on over-priced coffee. Just ask Smiles – he would gladly attempt to calculate the damage.

Is there a support group for expensive coffee drinkers? I need to attend.

Take It Off Tuesday

Today marks the official start of Operation Remove Front Butt (click on Front Butt to read the post in which I tell the world that I have one).

Take it OFF Tuesday - Ahem, weight not clothing. Although technically it's clothing too because typically I do everything in my power to ensure that the scale nudges down.

I weighed in this morning, and in the interest of full partial disclosure I will share with you my weight loss goals. Honestly, it's a real stretch and the weight loss experts might shake their heads at me. It's 20lbs by 30 years. That gives me roughly 3 months to take off 20 lbs.

It was a scary sight this morning, and hopefully a number that I NEVER see again.

My first "Not Me!" Monday post. "Not Me" Monday was created by MckMama.

Click here to check out her blog.

I did not eat a donut and drink an expensive latte while writing a post about my goals of losing weight and cutting spending. You see what I did not say was that I was going to start chasing those goals down after I finished writing them.

I did not throw my back out while doing work at my parents' lake home and then proceed to Rollerblade 7 miles. I would never do something like that... I know my limits.

I did not eat a dropped cookie of the floor or wipe my child's nose with my hand. And no LC did not reach over and grab my hand to clear the boogers of his face... like I had done that before. Heck no, not me!!

And I mostly did not curse the person who looked at our house this week and proceeded to poop in our potty. I did not break out the Clorox to clean it up.

I am new to this so I am sure there are plenty of other things that I did not do this week.

The List

I spent a lot of time thinking about my list of “stuff” this past weekend. Complete with an overall goal and a weekly goal. It’s one step at a time. This is a long one….

1. Eat Healthy. Exercise. Reduce the Front Butt.

Read: Lose 30 lbs. It is really about the weight but it’s also about making healthier food choices and living a more active life. I am doing this the old fashioned way. I am not joining some expensive club or program (see Goal #3), although I am sure they help and more power to you if you do, it’s just not in the cards right now. This starts today.

Week #1 Goal: Drink enough water. Yes, my pee is bright yellow and according to Smiles is the “worst” smelling pee ever. Um, honey, do you often smell other people’s pee? Exercise 4 times this week. It won’t be a marathon since I am close to 30 and now falling apart). Allow myself 1 small “cheat” per day. Instead of having 10 cookies, I will only eat one. Small steps, right?

2. Simplify. Organize.

I am OVERWHELMED with stuff. LC and LP have so many toys and clothing that we can hardly fit it all in our house (and we don’t have a small house). Seriously, I need a massive garage sale and some built-in cabinets. I dream about built-ins…. apparently, they invented those in 1989 since our house was built in 1988.

Week 1 Goal: Organize the photos. I have a stack of pictures that need to be put in albums and no back-ups of all of our digital pictures.


3. Financial Make-Over
Last week, Smiles and I sat down to discuss a budget. We are fortunate to have jobs in this economy and pay our bills, but we never feel like we are getting ahead. We have some very specific goals and dream of having a Roloff hobby farm (Little People Big World, TLC) – minus the dangerous pumpkin launcher.

Week #1 Goal: Steer clear of the overly expensive, wallet shrinking, waist expanding habit of eating out. Eliminate Reduce my trips to the not-so-local coffee house.


4. Reclaim the Flame.
Stressed. Overwhelmed. Finances. Screaming Toddlers. All of these things can take their toll on relationships. The most important relationship in my life sometimes takes the back seat when life gets in the way. I am blessed with the most wonderful husband. I need to show it more.

Week 1 Goal: Give him 15 minutes of extra love and attention every day. Pick up that book that I have been thinking about reading.


5. Find outlets.
Find hobbies, creative outlets, anything so that I can answer that dreaded question, “What do you like to do?”

Week #1 Goal: Anxiously awaiting a package in the mail. A new hobby to explore. More to come.

SLAP! Sidelined

About two month ago, I started running and was quickly sidelined by a foot injury. To give my foot a rest, I started rollerblading ... and I can hardly stand up straight. Go figure! Is this a sign that I am turning 30 soon? Or maybe that I am just over doing it. I can't give up on this.
This weekend I plan on spending so time documenting my redefining list. Stay tuned.

20 minutes of dred... every morning.

I stood in my closet for a good 20 minutes this morning. For a mother of two (one very early riser) that was asking for trouble….. knowing that at any moment Little Charmer would come barreling through the door wanting to “go play”. But I had to stand there because I have NOTHING to wear. I wear the same blessed thing to work everyday. In fact, my co-workers sometimes refer to my clothing as my uniform. Mostly black. Some days all black.

The only problem is that I actually have an entire walk in closet (it’s a smaller one) full of clothes. BUT I still have nothing to wear. See I go to the store and I have limited options…I can only buy one size. It is my maximum size. I absolutely refuse to buy anything lager than the maximum size. I know Stacy and Clinton would be so disappointed.

And even if it does fit, well I immediately rule out those items in which my Front Butt, Side Butt and Real Butt look to big in.

The only way to solve this is to firm up and shed a few pounds. My motivation you ask? Well of course it is so I can feel good about myself, be healthy, etc. But I am rapidly approaching 30. If I don't do it now, will I ever do it?

Front Butt

How do you narrow down the categories of redefinition into achievable goals?
Do you try to do everything all at once?
Do I change careers, eat healthy, exercise, find hobbies and sky dive all at once (ok, can I please redefine myself without jumping out of a plane?)?
Can I flip a switch and change it all in one day?

I could but the chances of long-term success are low.

Maybe I should start with what bothers me the most…. It’s what I call my FRONT BUTT. It’s the battle scars from carrying my beloved Little Princess and Little Charmer. It’s the reason why I am constantly adjusting my pants. It’s the thing on my lower stomach that reminds me of an extra ass, complete with a crack. Some people have an issue with showing crack in the back and they pull on their pants or wear suspenders. I pull my pants up over my front butt at least 10 times a day.

Hold on, wait a minute….. I have to adjust my Front Butt. I’m back. It’s covered.

Last night as I sat on my ass (the back one) watching the Biggest Loser finale, it made me realize that somewhere along the way I lost the one thing that always defined me. In my former life, I really was an athlete. My Front Butt and back butt are a constant reminder that I need to regain my old back butt and lose the front butt. Maybe I don't need to define myself as an athlete anymore... but it could be an added bonus to the many other things that now define who I am.

Now to develop a plan...

And so it begins…

Almost three years ago today, my husband (Smiles) and I (Redefined Mommy) welcomed our beautiful twins into this world (Little Princess and Little Charmer). They came a little earlier than expected and required some extra care (read: strict schedules, lots of feedings, tiny little outfits and overall panic by new parents who had never held babies so small). I felt so blessed to be a mother and still do to this day. I couldn't imagine life being any different.

Recently a friend said to me… “You can’t be a great mother without being great to yourself”. Crap. Where have these three years gone? My babies are getting so big (um, so am I… eek). When people ask me what I like to do, I can’t even reply. What do they mean? Well, I like to…. Um, well in my former life I was a competitive skier, runner, student, student of life, hanger outer with friends and family, high-energy, reader of books and adventurous soul of all things new. So what do I like to do now? I don’t know.

Let’s be real. I love my children. I love my husband. I love my life. My children and husband love me and tell me so daily. I love like my job. But where have I gone? This is the start of my journey to find myself again. In this mission, I hope to renew my spirit, become ME again.

I like to call it Operation Momme, putting the “me” back in Mommy.